#KeyWest #Florida #2003 Fiona and I were wintering in Florida. We met this guy Fross Maruti. He had this thing “The Free #Portrait #Studio”And he made this #pastel of me. After everything that happened I was sure he was some kind of #scammer. What did he want? A #Date? #Money? #Drugs? It was inconceivable to me that someone could do something nice just to be nice and not for some other #motive. I didn’t really get it, but he was probably the most straightforward person I’ve ever met. I guess he cashed in big on the #dotcoms or something, and he was really just doing what he loved. He had a shop. You came and hung out. Or you didn’t. I had been so #burned and so hurt because of my #innocence and #naïveté. And I vowed never to be so stupid and so taken advantage of again. And then I met this simple, honest, #generous guy. And I wasn’t capable of believing him. I wasn’t capable of taking things for the simple beauty of what they were. High-res

#KeyWest #Florida #2003 Fiona and I were wintering in Florida. We met this guy Fross Maruti. He had this thing “The Free #Portrait #Studio”And he made this #pastel of me. After everything that happened I was sure he was some kind of #scammer. What did he want? A #Date? #Money? #Drugs? It was inconceivable to me that someone could do something nice just to be nice and not for some other #motive. I didn’t really get it, but he was probably the most straightforward person I’ve ever met. I guess he cashed in big on the #dotcoms or something, and he was really just doing what he loved. He had a shop. You came and hung out. Or you didn’t. I had been so #burned and so hurt because of my #innocence and #naïveté. And I vowed never to be so stupid and so taken advantage of again. And then I met this simple, honest, #generous guy. And I wasn’t capable of believing him. I wasn’t capable of taking things for the simple beauty of what they were.

Whatever you do, #DON’T #FOLLOW #ME! I know it might sound like a clever way of trying to get you to follow me, but it isn’t. We’re all so #obsessed with “follow me” that #meaningless follows and #goingViral become a #substitute for #real #substance, a substitute for actually being alive. I could care less who or what you follow, but follow something #real, and follow it for real. High-res

Whatever you do, #DON’T #FOLLOW #ME! I know it might sound like a clever way of trying to get you to follow me, but it isn’t. We’re all so #obsessed with “follow me” that #meaningless follows and #goingViral become a #substitute for #real #substance, a substitute for actually being alive. I could care less who or what you follow, but follow something #real, and follow it for real.

#Rotterdam #2008. #Cosmologists debate whether the #universe will end in a #bang or a #whimper. My marriage to Mark definitely ended in a whimper. We never fought, we never argued, we never really anything at all… We just drifted ever farther and farther and farther away… In the end it wasn’t so much a #divorce as it was just #dissolving into nothingness. Only the faintest #vapor of a #marriage where once a relationship had existed. I didn’t blame Mark for the whole Pennyroyal tragedy. It totally was not his fault in any way. And yet somehow I guess I did blame him. I felt cut off from him. Or from myself. Or maybe both. I started to dye my hair #black. I know we were technically still #married, but we really never saw each other anymore. This photo is from two years before our actual divorce, but already I felt so very very distant from him. I think being in an empty marriage is somehow worse than being alone. Being alone has a sort of honesty to it that I think you can accept. But in an empty marriage everything about your existence just feels somehow #fake. You don’t really feel on any meaningful level. You don’t really feel like you’re alive anymore. High-res

#Rotterdam #2008. #Cosmologists debate whether the #universe will end in a #bang or a #whimper. My marriage to Mark definitely ended in a whimper. We never fought, we never argued, we never really anything at all… We just drifted ever farther and farther and farther away… In the end it wasn’t so much a #divorce as it was just #dissolving into nothingness. Only the faintest #vapor of a #marriage where once a relationship had existed. I didn’t blame Mark for the whole Pennyroyal tragedy. It totally was not his fault in any way. And yet somehow I guess I did blame him. I felt cut off from him. Or from myself. Or maybe both. I started to dye my hair #black. I know we were technically still #married, but we really never saw each other anymore. This photo is from two years before our actual divorce, but already I felt so very very distant from him. I think being in an empty marriage is somehow worse than being alone. Being alone has a sort of honesty to it that I think you can accept. But in an empty marriage everything about your existence just feels somehow #fake. You don’t really feel on any meaningful level. You don’t really feel like you’re alive anymore.

#TheHague #2005. The whole Field Marshal Pennyroyal thing left me pretty #scarred for some time. I didn’t want to do #karaoke for a while, although I did after a little bit go back to it. I was afraid because my #singing had gotten me in so much #trouble and caused me so much #pain. But what I realized is that your #voice is never your #enemy. Sometimes, if you #sing #loud enough, your voice can be heard by evil ears, but your voice is not your enemy, it’s those ears. And maybe in a way my real enemy was my own neediness. I didn’t have to be so susceptible to #Pennyroyal, but I think there were just such holes in my life that I craved the attention. If #breathing is #life, then singing is the #artForm that is closest to life itself. I’ll never have a #rockstar voice, and I’m fine with that now. I don’t care who hears me, or if anyone hears me, because I try as best as I can, to only sing for myself now. I don’t want to have a big #heroic voice, I just want to have my own small, #honest voice. I sing because I am alive, nothing more. High-res

#TheHague #2005. The whole Field Marshal Pennyroyal thing left me pretty #scarred for some time. I didn’t want to do #karaoke for a while, although I did after a little bit go back to it. I was afraid because my #singing had gotten me in so much #trouble and caused me so much #pain. But what I realized is that your #voice is never your #enemy. Sometimes, if you #sing #loud enough, your voice can be heard by evil ears, but your voice is not your enemy, it’s those ears. And maybe in a way my real enemy was my own neediness. I didn’t have to be so susceptible to #Pennyroyal, but I think there were just such holes in my life that I craved the attention. If #breathing is #life, then singing is the #artForm that is closest to life itself. I’ll never have a #rockstar voice, and I’m fine with that now. I don’t care who hears me, or if anyone hears me, because I try as best as I can, to only sing for myself now. I don’t want to have a big #heroic voice, I just want to have my own small, #honest voice. I sing because I am alive, nothing more.

And then things started to get really #weird. It all became a big #downward #spiral. @Fionablah came to visit, and we did #karaoke – which was super fun, at least for a while – But then we met this #FieldMarshal @Pennyroyal, who was pretty charismatic, but I think she #drugged us. Pennyroyal kidnapped us and held us captive in a tiny closet. She barely fed us, screamed at us constantly, and made us do things. They changed my name to #Tania, and Fiona’s name to #Tonya. I was made to #rob #banks, and Fiona was made to #assault #iceSkaters. God what a #horrible #nadir for such previously privileged #princesses. High-res

And then things started to get really #weird. It all became a big #downward #spiral. @Fionablah came to visit, and we did #karaoke – which was super fun, at least for a while – But then we met this #FieldMarshal @Pennyroyal, who was pretty charismatic, but I think she #drugged us. Pennyroyal kidnapped us and held us captive in a tiny closet. She barely fed us, screamed at us constantly, and made us do things. They changed my name to #Tania, and Fiona’s name to #Tonya. I was made to #rob #banks, and Fiona was made to #assault #iceSkaters. God what a #horrible #nadir for such previously privileged #princesses.

Fiona Blaylock Naked Art Show Raided by NTPD!

(Diary #39 – Mom’s Instagrams of me ‘n Fiona in ballet clothes)
Sepia toned image of a sofa in the center of a room, with a young girl lying unconscious on the floor in front of the sofa, and with vintage nude photographs hung on the walls of the gallery

The Blaylock Family Exposed. Curated by Fiona Blaylock. Gallery Fiona, New Toulouse.


 

You know how agent 007 has a license to kill? Yeah. I think my sister has a license to piss off. I was…

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